altheebee (altheebee) wrote in imnotsorry,
altheebee
altheebee
imnotsorry

I'm not sorry, either

On January 9th, my boyfriend and I found out I was pregant. We were filled with such mixed emotions, we are planning a future, but he's still a full-time college student. I have a good job and would love a baby, but it has to be right for both parents. After some long talks, we decided I should have an abortion. I took the RU-486 and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. My doctor gave me some Vicodin to ease the pain and I didn't go to a clinic, but to an obstetrician so there were no protesters, the office was warm and comfy...and nobody knew why I was there. The worst part was the ultrasound. I asked for the nurse to leave my monitor on just so I could see it...it gave me a strange sense of closure that it wasn't anything that looked remotely like a baby. The sound was off, so I couldn't hear the heartbeat, but I saw it. It's sad because in the 3 weeks that I knew I was pregnant, I grew attatched to the baby and grew to love it. Even so, I knew what the right choice was since even though I have a great job, I'm up to my neck in student loans and would have to go on WIC, etc, etc. Not something I pictured growing up. A far cry from a house with a 2-car garage and a dog, you know?

My question to you ladies is...if you were in a relationship when you had the abortion, what changed? How was your boyfriend supportive or not supportive? Are you still together? Did the abortion tear you apart?

I'm just looking for a little perspective from someone who've walked in my shoes since Kevin and I have been having such a hard time making things work. We had plans to move in together, and so on and so forth, but Kevin put a big halt to that the very morning after.
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