Set the controls for the heart of the sun (kingyummy) wrote in imnotsorry,
Set the controls for the heart of the sun
kingyummy
imnotsorry

Hi,
I'm new here. I'm 29 and I've had 2 abortions: one in May 2000, when I was waiting to find out if I'd got into university, and one in 2005, shortly after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I've made some bad decisions in my life, but my abortions were not among them: they were two of the best decisions I ever made in my life, and I'm not ashamed of them. I have told plenty of people about them, and I really hope that by doing so I change people's ideas about abortion a tiny bit, and maybe encourage others to be honest about their abortions: why should we be ashamed? We've done nothing bad or wrong!

The first time, I knew immediately upon learning that I was pregnant that I wanted rid of it: I made up my mind there and then that if I couldn't get a legal abortion, I would get an illegal one or I would do it myself or die trying.
I know it sounds melodramatic, but I really did feel like my body was a battleground - like I was going to have to fight the z/e/f for the right to occupy my body.
I'm very lucky that I live in the UK and I was able to get a termination relatively easily. The sense of relief when the procedure was over was overwhelming: I had my life back and it seemed like a miracle.

The second time I found out I was pregnant, I was initially unsure of what I wanted to do.
I went to the sexual health clinic in Oxford, where I live, and spoke to a nurse and to a doctor, neither of whom tried to sway me one way or another. They gave me the number for the nearest Marie Stopes clinic, and when I got home I called them and made an appointment for a surgical termination with conscious sedation.
The man I spoke to on the phone emphasised that I was under no obligation to have the termination and that I could change my mind at any point up to the procedure itself. I talked it through very thoroughly with friends, and gave it a lot of thought, and eventually decided that I did not want to have a child, so I had the termination.

Both times it went very smoothly. The first time the doctor was a very kind Italian man; the second time, the anaesthetist was Indian, and very kind, and the doctor was English and also really nice. On neither occasion did I have any pain. Conscious sedation is a lot like being drunk, so that was weird. No hangover, though, which is good!

I had an IUD fitted when I had the second abortion, so I won't be having any more unplanned pregnancies.

I cannot emphasise enough how positive both of my terminations have been. Okay, my life isn't perfect now, but God knows it would be unlivable if I'd been forced to have either of those babies.

I've had 2 abortions, and I'm not sorry!

Rachel.
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